Once things have time to cool down after a breakup, everyone always goes through the process of wondering if it was the right thing to do. You analyze the things that contributed to the end of the relationship and wonder if these were conflicts that truly could have been worked out if the feelings that you had were worth more than the offenses that you had. It’s hard to know if this is your heart still reacting to emotion or your brain trying to decipher facts. This needs to be thought through carefully because no one wants to get caught up in a
‘getting-back-together and breaking-up’ repetitive cycle. Only you will know what is right.
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The breakup of the 'Song Song' couple was perhaps the biggest breakup news of 2019. |
Should You Get Back Together With Your Ex?
- There is a lot of emotional turmoil following a split. It takes time and a great deal of healing before you come to a point where you can begin to think with clarity and logic. After that point comes, you have an idea of what is right for you, but you need to be certain and know the reasons you should try your relationship again.
- You have allowed a significant amount of time to pass to the point where you’re thinking clearly and your wounds have had time to fully heal. Sometimes couples simply need a break away from each other to think about what’s happening between them, to see the issues they’re having for what they are, and to determine how they truly feel for each other. Time and shedding new light on the union can potentially bring the fresh start that may have been all that was needed. This ultimately allows you to see that you truly belong together.
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Lim Soo Jung in WWW (2019). |
- When you really love someone and you want to put the work into something, any problem is workable. After breaking up, this is going to be obvious when you have the time to think about it. The problems are either going to seem like not so much of a problem anymore, or they will appear to be issues that have resolutions. Things have their way of working out whether one of you live in another city or the other tends to have a job keeping them tied up for all hours. If the relationship has value, you will work to find a solution to these conflicts.
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Namkoong Min in The Undateables (2018). |
- Once you have an opportunity to heal from the relationship and you decide to begin seeing other people, it may be an eye-opener. Perhaps, you find that the quality person that you had was much better than what you’re currently experiencing on the dating scene. You may find yourself beginning to think about your ex-partner, and they may be having the same issue. It’s worth a try to start communicating again and see where things end up. Now that you’re both reflecting and appreciative of the kind of person you were with, you won’t be inclined to dive into the same patterns that you experienced with the first go-round.
There may be a great deal of time passing for both of you and neither of you can seem to get through the healing phase. You’re both still emotional and miserable without the other person regardless of how or what you are trying to get on with your life. You both have the feeling that you made a mistake in separating and feel that you’re much better as a couple. This is a good indication that you haven’t gotten over each other. There are still very strong feelings and any issues should be workable at this point. It’s most definitely worth giving it another go or at least consider trying again. Follow
the signs you’re being given to let you know that it may be a good idea to try again.
If you do decide that you are going to give your relationship another go, make sure that you give it a fair shot. Don’t go back in with the past but rather stay in the present. Let go of all the negative, forgive and forget any hurt, and start fresh.
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Lee Sun Kyun and Song Ji Hyo in My Wife is Having an Affair This Week (2016). |
If you decide to throw past offenses into the mix, you will only hurt the one you claim to love and ruin any chances for a future. Allow the relationship to truly have an opportunity for a second chance to work.
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